BORN
BELOW
The
rich will eat the poor like the krill of the sea
and
grateful there is no real estate among the stars
flowering
in the furrowed branches of the willow,
I
stand in the backyard parking lot,
and
look up with the wounded longing
of
a man whose questions are older than his eyes,
knowing
nothing will answer the agony
of
being alive awhile to bear
this
incredible burden of stars
to
a grave that gapes without wonder, without sky, without light.
The
night is a whisper of God to the dark minerals
composed
in the vastness of space
to
be humbled by the exaltations of time and mind.
Mercy
and healing the radiant view
that
expands like a universe within
when
the heart grows tired of reading the braille of its scars.
Those
lights, ferocious hawks shrieking in their wheeling heights,
the
shattered glass of their unsoiled scintillation
thrown
down like a goblet they only drink from once,
were
my first teachers, the legends of their fury,
ancient,
transformative fire imbibed early
that
raised me up out of myself like a face
from
the boat of my hands
or
a passion I couldn’t return.
Are
they changed somehow from the stories we tell of their shining,
the
laws by which we divine their mysterious origins,
or
enhanced by the thousands of years of gazing
that
first raised ziggurats and pyramids on alluvial plains
to
witch the will of the gods with lightning rods
in
a chaos of mutability, civilization
the
delusion born thereof, do they burn blindly
above
the brutal business of the world, unconcerned
with
the politics of extinction that rages below,
the
flaring matchbook of nuclear powers
held
to a page of apocalypse
that
shadows the cowering earth
with
arsonists and Armageddon?
Is
all that flare and fury, the creation
of
the very letters by which the worlds are said,
nothing
but the afterlife of a sterling moment
in
which, like us, they can’t in the present be seen?
Do
the stars that shone on Babylon
shine
on us; shine down on nothing,
or
have they been humanized even slightly,
as
they have been reputed to urge our own blood into fate,
by
the view of love and carnage down below?
And
gods, each to themselves,
have
we become as they are, indifferent to our own glory,
random
debacles of accidental intent
weighing
our lives in the same purposeless breath,
the
same hollow heartbeat
as
moments of no appreciable account
in
the grandiose obscenity of a loveless creation?
If
a star could speak
would
it curse or bless the dream
that
adorns and torments it,
these
eyes of mine that search it out in the darkness
a
petal of light in the orchard of dendritic space
to
give it a name and ask
for
mercy from the bone-yard of the world awhile
by
staring into the cool fountains
of
its self-purifying mystery,
grateful
for its unattainability? Given a voice
that
even a child could understand
would
it consider what we’ve been,
what
it’s witnessed of what we’ve become
over
the last five million years
and
scream eureka or shriek;
or
would it break down in tears
and
put its own light out,
disgusted
with the embodiment
of
its own elements, the issue of its fire-womb?
Iron
rises up against calcium
in
a war of murderous siblings
like
a sword against a skull,
a
bullet through the brain,
the
chain of bestial beatitudes
that
enslaves us in our cities to the ethics of steel,
and
destroys on the whim of a few
for
the advancement of a few
iron
in the form of blood,
the
millenial millions slaughtered and wasted
by
the extravagant progress of metal
crazed
against metal in a robe of red. Ferrous cannibals
in
executive suits, in uniforms, in rags,
we
eat the brains and drink the blood
from
the planet’s fractured cranium, the orthodoxy
of
our overly-vaunted evolution, the structure
and
inhuman elaboration of civilization
after
civilization nothing but the enforced order of our eating.
The
big fish eat the little fish
and
the little fish cry.
If
the eye by which I see this star
is
the star that eyes me, could it be
the
stars have gone mad
over
uncountable nights afflicted
by
the same recurrent nightmare
of
our astounding savagery,
the
gigantism of our capacity
for
agony and mutilation,
the
brutal depravity of our deepening ignorance
exalting
in its consciousness of new modes of murder,
our
societies, organized theft,
the
flowers of our culture
rooted
in the bone and blood meal of a garden
planted
in the shadow of an abattoir,
Auschwitz
with daisies? Atoms join and separate,
their
annihilations, edicts of light,
amalgams
and almagests of matter,
mind
in the fire-womb
mastering
the art of water,
the
elixirs of life drawn alchemically
from
destruction and putrefaction, the water-lily,
the
water-star that opens like a hand
that
would give something back to the stars,
transforming
the muck and mud of the swamp into light.
Is
there any flower a human
can
offer up to the night
that
has come of all our killing, the suffering
we
have enforced upon one another
as
if, insane, we despised our own species;
is
there anything we have made
of
the tragic waste in large and small
we
could hold up to a star, to ourselves,
to
the moon in the willow
and
say, yes, of all the blood we have spilled,
of
all the minds and lives
we
have brought to rot and ruin
there
is this great, black rose of wonder,
this
light by which we know the light
born
of the billions who have lived and died
in
the course of our conception, the countless exterminations
to
show you this, just this,
one
flower, one incorruptible efflorescence
worthy
of the fire that engendered us?
PATRICK
WHITE
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