YOU CAN CUT THE DIAMOND
You can cut the diamond of your insight
any way you want
and hold it up to the light
and inspect it for flaws,
and be well pleased
with the radiant translucency
of the perfect planes
that chromatically abberate
your perception
into the sudden flash of worlds
you had not suspected
like eyes all around you in the night
wondering who you are
that suddenly appears among them
like the strange interference
of a deranged star
muttering oracularly in its sleep;
but it’s still just the way
the brain works its own waves
like a snakecharmer
playing on the flute of your spine
or witching for water
with a tangent and a cosine.
Just another simulacrum of your own mind
trying to convince the blind
you really can see.
And you can look all you want
for dynamic meanings
in what it is to be
as still and silent and dark
as the absence of God
before you were conceived
to know flesh and blood and bone
and what it is to be effectually alone
without a first cause of your own,
but it’s all just thoughts
trying to bind you to a mind
like a tapestry of Gordian knots
that record the age-old mystery
of the personal history of here and now.
And it’s true we’re all breathing
into the mouth of our own death
trying to get it to catch its breath
like a body cast up on a cold shore
as if the sea of awareness
had made some mistake
we’re the ones who must answer for it
by suffering like a used sky
when the skin casts off its snake
like a flute that cannot live
beyond the lifespan of the music
that mesmerized the savage grass
with the grace and stealth of its passage.
But there’s no way out of it
because there’s no way in
and all we’re really doing
is trying to contort our way
out of this straitjacket of the moon
we wear like phases of scarred skin
that shapes who we are like a calendar
that sheds its flower of time
like pages and petals and leaves.
And it may not be wisdom to doubt
what the serpent believes
about God, the Devil, and Temptation
and try to seek your own salvation
beyond the new walls of the infallible
that surround the grounds with armed angels
that fill you with dread
to tread where you want
without hell going off like a hidden explosive,
but it’s a tragic waste of lies if you don’t.
PATRICK WHITE